2021.10.22 19:59 collegekid98 BF's past with orgies - Vanilla image - but kinky evidence
My boyfriend (25) and I (23) have been dating for 2 years. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, as any relationship would. We are both in therapy, and have been personally improving ourselves greatly. We separated for roughly 3 months and have recently touched base again (dating).
One of the things that keeps resurfacing for me, that is bothersome is his past with orgies. When we first started dating, a few weeks in, he asked to go to a regularly scheduled orgy. He expressed that the first time he went it was bad, and he didn't have intercourse with anyone, so he wanted to give it a second round and enjoy himself. Given our relationship was fresh and new, I was open to him going without me (because I wasn't invited). A few days later he decided that it wasn't fair to me for him to go. So he didn't go. Months after this I kept getting hung up on why someone would just 'not go'. He watches orgy porn often and seems to continue to fantasize about it. We've had multiple conflict leading to nowhere about why he just doesn't go. He frames a story that he wants monogamy more than an orgy.
Flash forward 6 months after our separation (we have been back together for 3 months). A couple of days ago I stumbled upon a google doc on a twitter account of a friend. This google doc sounded like the orgy he once did attend and wanted to again. I read this document more than 15+ times. The entire document was galaxies a part from the guy I've been shown, told about, and convinced of. My heart seemed to shatter in a million pieces. I never did have the details of this orgy when we first had these conversations early on in our relationship and continued to pop up throughout. Though, throughout our relationship we have discovered that I was more kinky than he was. He professed to be extremely vanilla, soft, and not explorative. Throughout our entire relationship this has been the case: he doesn't experiment in bed, he doesn't profess to be kinky, and he has painted an entire image and convinced me of who he is as a person. But this orgy was far, far, far from who he convinced me he was for nearly 2 years. He made me feel like my assumptions of his kinkiness were ridiculous, false, and downplayed most of what I thought may have been the case. Eventually I forced myself to believe him I guess to salvage the relationship. Then this google document. This orgy was CLEARLY explained, CONCISE, and even had a rude undertone. This orgy was intended for: cum dumping, bareback (NOWHERE were condoms mentioned). **Also note I was the FIRST person he ever had sex without a condom in his life.** This orgy was kinky, sloppy, and more. The person he painted an image of was: prep, condoms, missionary style sex with little to nothing else, hooked up very rarely. He is a "put the dick in the ass, a few pumps/ trust (2 minutes maybe)", and nothing else. I pressured this for nearly 2 years, because I couldn't convince myself that someone who wanted orgies was vanilla (one of the most vanilla people I've ever met in my life). Again, I read the document and here is what happens..
I brought it up and this unfolded into a 5 hour conflict. He again downplayed my argument, even though I now had proof that what he was attending was NOTHING similar or worlds close to who he told me he was as a person. He used the same old argument as before "I want you" "I want monogamy" "that isn't me" etc etc. Yet to this day he still watches orgy porn and who knows what else. He NEVER admitted to why there is a HUGE mismatch between the person I have been convinced he is for the past 2 years vs. the document that I just read. His argument, as I said, was NO different than the argument he used when I was assuming things about his sexual desires and orgies in the past.
Now I was no longer assuming and was clearly questioning the black and white in front of my eyes in this document. His argument was that "he didn't get that out of the document" but NOBODY logically or intelligent would have perceived ANYTHING different.
This document was incredibly clear, concise, rude, blatant, and expressed from A-Z WHO, WHAT, WHY, WHEN, this was for. It even criticized people like him. People who wanted to wear condoms, people who were nervous, etc. It was entire universes away from the person he made me believe he is. He is a VERY intelligent person, so this makes it even harder that he would have read this document, then tell me he perceived something different. I can share the language of this document with those who want more context to the situation.
My heart broke because I felt like the guy I was convinced of for 2 years was completely gone. This wasn't him. I didn't know the guy I was with anymore.
The orgy itself is not what bothers me. I am very explorative and sexually intense, though have decided that the relationship we have is by far more important to me than satisfying some of my kinks. What this is, is the fact that this appears to be someone who has severely suppressed his sexual tendencies (grew up Catholic) and has drug me along with him, manipulating and convincing me of an angelic vanilla guy that never described the details of this orgy, and would have never, ever said he enjoyed the things that I actually read in the document. Again, during our 5 our conflict nothing was resolved. He continued to play down my feelings, evidence, proof, questions and even at times made jokes. He expressed that it wasn't him, he didn't perceive the document in that way, and more arguments that were OPPOSITE from the extremely vanilla guy I've been convinced of vs an event that he once desired and maybe still does, because at this point I have NO idea what to believe.
Can anyone please objectively weigh in on this? I have been driving myself insane, especially today, and frequently throughout the past 2 years. But now I am just crushed that he won't accept, understand or admit that the document I read is entirely a different person than who he told me he was: even with all the texts, proof, evidence etc of VERY different statements and words. for example: some of the things HE says he is about sex, vs what is in the document.
I am a very open person, and this is something that I really need support/ help with. If I am the issue (as he severely wants me to believe right now) and you all also think the same, please let me know. Your insights will be incredibly valuable. Thank you.
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2021.10.22 19:59 SnooChickens6631 Para una jalada de ganso
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2021.10.22 19:59 Leeee___________1111 what anime is this writing gif from?
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2021.10.22 19:59 Lol33ta Magic Forest by Zunem
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2021.10.22 19:59 x740xWastedx Hacker Da Monkey In GTAV Online #shorts #youtubeshorts
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2021.10.22 19:59 xcogx11 Always wear a helmet
2021.10.22 19:59 markandyxii Anyone having the video for Metroid Dread randomly go out while playing docked?
I just got Dread, having a blast but the video keeps randomly cutting out. There is still audio, but the tv will go black. It'll happen most frequently while I am on the map screen.
At first I thought it was a bad HDMI connection. I changed the cords, unplugged them and replugged them. Tried a different HDMI port, same issues.
What's mind boggling is that it happening so frequently with Dread. No other switch game does this docked. I played ACNH for 6 six hours today with no loss of signal.
I don't know what to do and from my googling, it looks like I am the only one experiencing this issue. Anyone have any advice.
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2021.10.22 19:59 superlongusername111 Funny Halo number on the Pringles moa burger ad
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2021.10.22 19:59 keep_Democracy_usa A cloud with the sun shining behind it.
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2021.10.22 19:59 EducationalDurian436 🐶 DOGE KART 🐶 | Launched an hour Ago | Low Mcap 4k Mcap | Dev Doxxed | Lq Locked | Next x100 token | Influencer Proposals 🐶
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2021.10.22 19:59 Jordan-Monde Will this Chromebook be an Upgrade?
My son has a 2019 10.1 Samsung tablet which is kinda slow now, would this chromebook or a similar be an upgrade for him?
Acer Chromebook Spin 311 Convertible Laptop, Intel Celeron N4020, 11.6" HD Touch, 4GB LPDDR4, 32GB eMMC, Gigabit Wi-Fi 5, Bluetooth 5.0, Google Chrome, CP311-2H-C679 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086MBQKH2/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_RCPFRKQKWP63Y9Y9HQQN
It's on-sale now at Walmart for 129
Is this worth buying for him, he would mostly use It as a tablet I'm guessing
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2021.10.22 19:59 MemerThoughts If you keep insects/small animals in a terrarium, every generation after them will think that their jar is the entire world.
2021.10.22 19:59 LSD_Addict My (17m) girlfriend (12f) won't get help for her mental problems
I'm 17 and my girlfriend is 12 and we met last year when i was year 12 and she was year 8, the relationship is good but her mental health is really bad, she has Ptsd, ADHD, and anxiety issues due to her mom abusing her 7 years ago, she refuses to go see a therapist or take medication, she says there's nothing wrong with her, what can i do to help?
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2021.10.22 19:59 0ldfart banned for reee
2021.10.22 19:59 LumioseWanderer LW's Horizon's Award Show
Having listened to Horizons a few times now, I think I'd like to hand out some awards to various songs on the record. Also, I'll list off the songs that would've won from previous albums.
Should've been a single: DEVOLUTION or DREAMCATCHER
Previous winners of this award: DIE FOR YOU
Song that grew on me immediately: DEVOLUTION
Previous winners of this award: ECHO and TELEKINETIC, Satellite and Unbecoming, It Has Begun and Carnivore
Song that will grow on me in time: OTHERWORLDLY
Previous winners of this award: PERFECT MACHINE(it has), Everglow(it has), Halo(still growing but it will)
Song that snuck up on me: SYMBIOTIC
Previous winners of this award: OTHER WORLD'S THAN THESE, Telepathic, Telescope and Antigravity
Song that needs a visual transmission (music video): ALCHEMY
Previous winners of this award: TELEKINETIC, Unbecoming, The Future is Now
Song that meant the most to me through lyrics: ICARUS
Previous winners of this award: STRATOSPHERE, Starlight, It Has Begun
Outro award for great outro: SOMETHING WICKED
Previous winners of this award: Diving Bell, Everglow, Rise and Fall
My personal favorite song on the record: Tie between SYMBIOTIC and DEVOLUTION
Previous winners of this award: STRATOSPHERE, Unbecoming, and a tie between It Has Begun and Point of No Return.
To end, I'd just like to say to everyone here: Listen to Horizons at your own pace and make your own judgements. Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel about a particular song. Enjoy!
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2021.10.22 19:59 MitchellicA My first jacket. A lockdown sewing haze, how many patches have I got coming? Fuck postage can be slow, where are they coming from again? Russia. Indiana. New York. Florida. UK. Sydney. I awake some mornings in a post patch purchase hangover , fingers calloused. Can't wait for some gigs in Sydney!!!!
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2021.10.22 19:59 Lluma52 Insert funny words here
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2021.10.22 19:59 Offroadoutlaws53 C10 Whip
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2021.10.22 19:59 TheSanchoWayne Started a new bot. It would only let me make 27 max trades why?
2021.10.22 19:59 CeoOfLoosingHerShit Jack and Victor lmao
2021.10.22 19:59 M1A2CAbrams This is why I sold your F-14 to Iran kid
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2021.10.22 19:59 Slime762 3s? Anybody (current gen)
2021.10.22 19:59 Flame-riesta just curious, what would u guys rate me? i have depersonalization and don’t have a great grasp of how i look
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2021.10.22 19:59 TheBoxisaLie10 When does this game go on sale?
2021.10.22 19:58 Roger_Gold Olivia Thirlby in Y: The Last Man [S1E8-2021]
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